What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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A boy has enough money to buy an xbox and a game, but when he reaches the store he is no longer able to buy an xbox and a game, how is this possible? He didnt really have enough money to buy an xbox and a game.

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

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whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

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What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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