What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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what do you call a man who makes fun of womens rights? Single

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Ham sandwich

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What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

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I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

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How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops