What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

Woman's rights

Ham sandwich

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

what do you call a man who makes fun of womens rights? Single

A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

your brother so fine that hes skinney

Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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