Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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Take off your shoes.

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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what do you watch ? a tv

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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69

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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