What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

where are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

69

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

This one time at band camp....

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Want to here a joke? Then get off this site!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The black guy because the Mexicans was recently aressted for a dwi and had his repealed. But lately he has worked towards cleaning his life up. They were actually driving to an AA meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

vagina, hehehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's after 9/11? 9/12

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Fox News.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops