A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

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Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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a man walks into horse bar

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Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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