Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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what happens during a climax apples

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Doorbell salesman.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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