A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -113

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

math test 2=2

thumb_up thumb_down +56

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What did you say? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops