Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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