I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops