Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

Women's Rights.

what's worse than 24? 6 million.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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