Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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PENIS that is all

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops