Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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