How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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