Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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