hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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