Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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