A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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A storm be brewin!

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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