What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

noah is a scrub jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Women deserve equal rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops