roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Everybody will die

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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What's sadder then a dead puppy? 2 dead puppies.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops