An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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do u like chicken ? ....no good...cuz its for black people.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops