Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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I am quite mature.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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