a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You and your parents are going to die today

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops