Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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What's the difference between a horse and a gorilla? Their penis size. Horses have relatively large penises, while gorillas are known to have the smallest penises proportional to their body size.

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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A guy walks into a bar

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops