Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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