What did Osama bin Laden say when he heard loud gunshots outside his millitary compound? A: We'll never find out

Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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