In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Loperson

One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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