Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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25.

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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there square amphibious wood gum flag homos CC

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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i dont care if you rate me or not

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY 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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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