how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Phew... it's gone.

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Yo mama so fat.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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