Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

anti-joke.ru - russian style

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

you give like i give lomain

Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

Why can't Ray Charles see? Because he's dead.

Whats a blind catholics biggest fear? The priests power of chris compelling him

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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