God wrote this joke.................................

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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