What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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mark is religion

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

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A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops