How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

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Kys

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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