a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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69

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Bob Saget

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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copy me and i will kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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