What's sadder then a dead puppy? 2 dead puppies.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops