What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

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I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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adam hodgson !

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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If you give a man a fish, he'll eat it.

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Wanna hear a joke? WNBA

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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