Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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AIDS.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

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How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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