What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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Heskey time.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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You know what's gay?? Lesbians

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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