What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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Penis

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Justin Beiber

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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a boy jumps through a mirror and out a window then he fell so now he's dead.

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A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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