man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Julian Ha.

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

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3 like an eel

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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