Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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haha black people :D

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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