How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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tuna fish dolphins sharks idk

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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Me- hey hitler you lost soemthing. hitler- Vat? Me-world war two.

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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