what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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knock knock whos their a person

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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what do you call a white and black girl 69? ying yang

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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I walk into a bar...

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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Major League Soccer

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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Life

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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