what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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What's bad about the the 3 black Jews that just died...... They were my friends

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops