How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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this is stupid .... yep

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops