How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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