How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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Womens basketball

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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How does shit taste?\ Good.

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So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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What's better than a gold brick? 2 gold bricks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops