Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a man walks into a bar and it hurts

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

your mom is so stupid she got raped

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock What?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I like Pi. It can make circles.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops