How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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A sober Irish individual.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Well you see....

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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I woke up today

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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This is my favorite antijoke.

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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