what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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