A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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